Deeper.

After service last night, I was driving home and just thinking about why we were created. Why we were placed on earth- can you guess?: to have fellowship/worship God was the answer I came up with- and Psalms 42:7 came to mind that "Deep calls unto deep" and this morning 2 Corinthians 2:9-10 it is written: 
   "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"— but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.  The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

and the only way that we can find out what mind-blowing things God has prepared for us is by being in God's presence- surrendering to His Spirit. and I was kind of taking inventory of my life: "Am I spending enough TIME in God's presence to know or even understand or EVEN hear God's spirit speak to me?" "Am I reading His word like my life depended on it?" "Has anything taken top priority in my life ABOVE GOD: my job, my friends, my family, my money, my ego, my church programs, my position etc.?" If that's the case in our lives, we are NOT going to be able to experience all that God has to offer us because we will NOT know what it is He's offering! We'll just blindly go about living life catching glimpses of His presence, rather continually abiding in His presence LIKE  we were created to do! (John 15:1-8)

I've got this restless discontent lately because it seems that everybody (including myself) is so busy that we don't have time to spend in God's presence. (and what's crazy- is that I WORK AT A CHURCH! AHHHHHH!!!!!!) 

We rush in to church 10 minutes late (really?), we find our pew, sing our songs- heaven forbid- that worship leader go off into a time of singing stuff not on the screen (spontaneous worship) and then he's gonna tell me to lift my voice? Oh no, I'll wait till he's done with that because I don't really have anything to say to a good God other than what's on the screen. Plus, I'll be too nervous and shy to really sing something that's in my heart- What will people think? Because you know, church is really about what other people think! Jesus, who? I'm tired- I've had a hard day- I don't want to be here- I'm just here because I don't want to hear 40 "Where were you last service or we missed yous" next week. Because church and God presence really is about the day I've had- it's really all about me. When I feel good, I'll sing. When I'm not tired- I'll be there early. When I'm not busy- I'll devote time. When I..I...I...I...

We may not consciously be thinking/saying those things in our head but our actions tell a totally different story. Our actions stem from what's hidden in our heart. 

I want to be in a place where people come early- ready to worship God. I want to be in a place where what's on the projection screen doesn't matter because we realize that those songs are just a jumping off point to a deeper time of worship. I want to be in a place where all of these "I's" are replaced by what God wants. and you know what? I go to a place, Faith Christian Center, where that happens- when we make it happen! When we decide that church is a priority- and you know what it's not that we say to make church a priority to make FCC look good or grow- but we (the staff here) realize that church can CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  It can redirect your entire future. but in order for that to happen you have to be there.  Hey, we've all got issues. We've all got reasons why we can't attend every service- and that's OK; but it shouldn't become a habit. Being late shouldn't become the norm- it should be the exception. So many times, it's really just becomes something to practice. You have to practice worshiping in spite of your feelings when you are having a bad day. So many times, I think we get this idea that some little Jesus fairy with wings will just swoop down and bop us on the head so that we can be "Christians"- that ain't the way it works! No magical POOF! will make us feel like worshiping on a bad day- We've got to change our lives by asking for God's help and guidance and then applying the things that we hear taught in church, read on blogs *smile*, etc. 

There are days when I seriously don't feel like getting up in front of people and leading worship- because I don't feel good, or I'm emotionally hurt, or mentally drained from the week. 

There was one time that I was so ill- I really couldn't stand to be at church but I prayed that God will help me get through worship (because hello, I was the only musician there!), so I went to church, played through the set- as soon as I got done- got to the parking lot to leave- I reversed the digestion process all over the parking lot! Gross, I know, but it makes the point.

 - but seriously, one thing that I do know as FACT- an unwavering truth in my life - is that God is worth more than my feelings, more than my health, more than my wants. There have been plenty of times that I have come into church with a burden/issue that COULD very easily ROB me of my attention to worship and my access into God's presence (if I let it); however, when I put those issues aside- learn to let go- and focus on God- I normally either a) don't have the issue anymore or b) have a renewed/refreshed outlook on whatever trials I may be in! 

In each of us, we've got a desire for more of God. We can NOT let that desire be disrupted by time. Deep will always cry out to deep- because there is so much of God that we haven't even began to know. Yeah, you too. There is so much of His goodness that we have yet to discover. So much more of His love that we've yet to experience. So much more of His grace that we've yet to see. So much more of His beauty that we've yet to behold. We were created to continually go deeper in God's presence. We hold ourselves back. We do. It's not the church that we attends fault. It's not the pastor or the worship leaders fault that we didn't "FEEL" it today. It's not the kids fault that they distracted you (I'll post later on kids/teens and worship- oh I've got so much to say *smile*). Each one of us make the choice to stay where we're at and become stagnant and stale or dive off into a wild and deeper relationship with God. 

The choice is yours.