Run to You

*i will fall time and again

and i will say that im true to you

but i'm a cheat  

i don't understand

so i'll run to you

i will run i will run

i will move right on through

all these things that i have done

and you'll take me back

i don't know why

i wanna say i'll never do it again

but i can't

but I will try....

I'll be honest: sometimes, I don't understand God's grace. You know? After you do something that you know is not pleasing to God- that sinking feeling in your chest comes and the little voice in your head that urged you to act, say, or think those sinful things all of a sudden becomes a pious judge- telling you how you can never ever come back to God- never get forgiveness- OR how about this one, your spirituality has now been tainted and you can never be a shining example of God's grace or love because you're flawed- OR that it will take you forever to get back to the place that you were with God prior to the sin. 

Condemnation is never really a fun thing to deal with- but one thing that i do know as TRUTH- is that God doesn't give us condemnation- He'll convict us- let us know that what we did is not what's good- and then He leaves the choice up to us- are we going to run from Him- His grace, His forgiveness, His Love- because we deem ourselves unworthy? Are we going to hide behind our shame like they did in the Garden? Genesis 3:8 . 
To be honest, I think that it's in our nature to run and hide- Adam did it. Eve did it. Cain did it. When God asked Cain "What have you done?"- I'm pretty sure the story would have ended different if Cain would have said "I'm sorry- I've done wrong- I need Your help." Instead of his brash: "am I my brother's keeper?".  We really can't  seem to bear the weight our sin when compared to the holiness of a great God. 

I have a feeling that when God said "Where are you" to Adam and Eve- He really meant "Why didn't you come to me- instead of hiding? Instead of dealing with your guilt, your shame, your frustration on your own- why didn't you come find Me?" and I get the feeling that God says the same thing to us. 

For me, I find it quite difficult to sin and then rebound in to God's unending love and grace. Most of the time, I feel unworthy- like I'm cheating the system- like I'm getting over on God- but then I remember Romans 2:4 - that it is God's goodness that leads me to repentance and I am humbled by how good God really is. Because if someone wronged me- I'd be mad for at least 2 days- expect an apology, etc.-

I think that most of us put our human characteristics and attributes on God- and kind of diminish His Godly attributes- the ability to forgive, the ability to forget [Psalms 103:12], the ability to love inspite of sin [John 3:16-18] , the ability to let grace triumph over shame [Romans 5:20] and so we walk around with all this fear (not the reverential kind), condemnation, shame- and we can't seem to move on. 

We fail to remember that God comes down in the middle of our busy days, our sleepless nights, our cluttered schedules and says "Where are you? I can't seem to find you? Instead of running and hiding because you fought with the wife, said too many cuss words today, watched sexy movies, forgot about Me, held a grudge, talked about people, etc- instead of running away- why don't you run to Me? Run to My grace. Run to My love. Run to my Son- who died for you that in Me you can be free"  We forget Zephaniah 3:17 that says: "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,  he will rejoice over you with singing."

So like the quote up above- I'm learning more and more everyday- not to run and hide when I've done something wrong; but instead run to Christ- because in Christ- I can find freedom, joy, and peace. Regardless of what I've done- said- or thought- if I can move past MY mind and MY emotions- God will take me back- and I may fall again- I may trip up bigger than I did today but I can try to live this life for Christ- setbacks and stumbles- triumphs and all because His grace is sufficient. 

and that pretty much blows my mind. 

*the quote up above is from "Run to You" by the Rocket Summer listen to it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwEafak-1SA